My church is 3 hours. THREE HOURS!
That's a long time for anyone to sit still and whisper, let alone children!
By no means have I figured this part of church out, but I have learned some things along the way.
Toddler Age
Wondering:
Early on in our marriage I would see the children that ran out of the isles of pews, away from their parents, and sometimes up on the stage! I always felt so embarrassed for the parents as they had a 300+ audience while they tried to get their kid back to their pew! And then all of a sudden I had a wiggly toddler that wanted out. But, we decided that wasn't going to happen. We never allowed our daughter to go (even one foot) out of the pew. What's that old saying? "You give them an inch, and they will take a mile." We knew if we allowed her to stand just outside of the pew, then she would eventually want to wonder a few feet away, and sooner or later she would be that kid that is running amuck in the overflow! Well, it worked. She learned it wasn't allowed.
Roaming the Halls:
We also didn't make a habit of taking her out in the halls. Kids are smart. They rather be running around the halls than sitting quiet in church! There were a couple of times that she threw a fit, but I would take her out, sit her on a chair until she calmed down, and back in we would go. We didn't reward bad behavior with a fun trip to the halls!
Toys/Snacks:
Bringing the right toys is key. I tried to bring more activity type things for her to play with than a toy. Toys will be slammed against the medal chairs, dropped onto the wood floor, or thrown. We did a lot of quiet books, sticker books, magnets (if you sit on the medal chairs), and coloring books. In my option it is better to bring a few things, rather than a whole bag full.
I tried to bring snacks that were not going to smooshed into the carpet or pews. I made her sit on the floor, handed her the snack, she ate it, and then I put it away.
Ages 4+
Sitting by Friends:
Church is not playtime, and I don't want my kids to think that it is. We go to church to learn and to worship. By the age they are in Primary, they can begin to learn this. We never allowed our kids to "visit" their friends pews during church. And the times that little friends came to sit with us during church, we said hello to them, and then sent back to their families.
Activities to stay busy:
When our oldest turned 5, we stopped bringing anything with us for her to "play" with. She is allowed to draw and doodle.
Food:
We don't eat every 3 hours at home, so we are trying to teach her she can go the whole church time with out a snack. She usually grabs a snack and eats it on the way to church. She is sure to eat her whole breakfast or lunch now before we leave for church.
Participation:
We ask that they participate in everything going on. Pen and paper should be put down for prayers, singing, and all of the passing of the sacrament. I will try to read ahead and tell her the words to the hymns so she can sing along. I don't require her to sing along, but I give her the chance to. We do not allow sitting on the floor by this age. I also try to let them know it is my time to listen and learn, and try to limit the amount of talking between me and them.
I think that our kids are capable of more than we think. We should teach them early on how to act and behave in church. They will learn more, and will enable the people around them to learn and worship better as well. I know that the number of kids and the ages and abilities of each family are different, but this is what has worked for our family. It is always a work in progress!
